This Just In: Tony Abbott Promises to Lose the Next Election

"The knee bone's connected to the - Re-sources-tax! The Tax-bone's connected to my - mo-ron-ity!"

 In a bid to win the 2010 Australian Federal Election, Federal Opposition leader Ton-Yabbot has vowed to go out of his way to lose it. Mr Yabbot's schizophrenic policy decisions (that inevitably and quite unfortunately get shot down by his party) exhibit their own unique brand of incomprehensible logic, and are prized for their startling spontaneity. Having recently warned that voters shouldn't accept everything he says as the 'gospel truth', Mr Yabbot has sent opinion polls and political commentators into what is tentatively termed as 'shit-spin', as they debate who is actually the stupidest choice for Australian PM (but not the Sydney Morning Herald, possibly the closest thing in Australian media to toilet-paper, which still runs comics from cover to cover).

It seems clear that from here on out Australia will not be voting for who should be PM, rather, who they think shouldn't.


Menzies would be proud.

-B